I was up fairly early this morning. I’ve been awake since three, but went back to bed at around six and got another couple of hours of sleep. Why? Because my anxiety keeps me up at night. I went to the doctors yesterday to see if I couldn’t get back on the medication I was on a few years ago. They prescribed me the generic brand and sent me on my way. I took it and then the anxiety hit worse than ever. I think the dosage was too high and now I have to adjust it. I hate that I’m still feeling this way.. It sucks when everyone else thinks you’re crazy.
Anxiety happens to everyone. We’re all affected by it at some point. There are just others who let it affect them completely. They fall apart and panic to the point where it gets pretty scary. I’m not perfect and I let stress take over. It sucks sometimes because it just really runs me down. I always feel pretty bad. Once you start to have a panic attack, it’s hard to get rid of it. It’s easy to get but hard to get rid of. I also find it hard to get rid of that feeling once I have it. It’s always in the back of my mind, ready to settle into my chest.
I really wish that I could be “okay” again. I wish I was able to go out and hang out with my friends without the fear of having a panic attack in front of them looming over my head. I wish this medication didn’t make me feel so bad. My mom says it’ll just take time for my body to get used to it again. I don’t know about that.